Jerry, you need to find god
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
