only if we run a train.
done.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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