I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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