i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
