I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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