YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
