return my video game
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
