he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
