We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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