WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
