when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
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