I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
