I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Never joke about your clitoris.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
