Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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