6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
