I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
