bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
