i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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