sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
