counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
