just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
