Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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