Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
