And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
