I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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