I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
