Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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