just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
