hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
