i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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