She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
