I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
