marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
