One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
