i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think I am morally bankrupt
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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