I love black thongs
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
