It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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