you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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