i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
