omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
