Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
