he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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