If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
