It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
