yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
