Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
