R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I have post one night stand depression
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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