I saw his package. It spoke to me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Im part way to drunk.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
