yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
