this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
